Moving On...?

I had a big week last week. I finally let go of something that has been dragging me down for over a year now. I'm a fairly stubborn person and I don't like to give up on things that I start. I like to keep going until I get it right. Well, I had to learn the hard way that I can't always do that. I believe that God has his hand in my life and has blessed me by moving me away from certain situations even though it broke my heart to leave so many friends and family. I believe that God knows my stubbornness, my weaknesses, my faults, my heart. I can't always help people - especially when they don't want to be helped - they just want to take advantage and use me. It took a certain person actually telling me to my face that he was doing that before I really believed it. I knew from the beginning that it was true and everyone in my life told me the same. But until I actually heard it from this one person - I didn't accept it. If I were one of the 12 disciples, I would most closely resemble Thomas. He heard that Jesus had risen and he actually saw Jesus before him. However, until he felt for himself the holes in Jesus' body, he didn't believe.

I'm struggling to keep myself from getting involved again. I don't know why its so hard to think that God can do things without my "help". I feel like I should be able to make it work! I don't understand why I can't. And that's where I have to learn to let go of my own self and step back and leave things in God's hands. Thanks, God, for providing me with a fresh start. Please help me not to get entangled by my own foolishness, stubbornness, and pride in thinking that I can make things better. Please give me strength to leave this person in your very capable and loving hands.

* new favorite song by Sanctus Real that says it all for me *

Whatever You're Doing

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out